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The prevalence and problem of the emotional attitude of bitterness is increasing today. Ours is a world filled with many bitter and unhappy souls. I really had not paid that much attention to it until the Lord had me begin to deal with my own issues of bitterness some years back. I have written about slavery, but there have been many more personal issues of bitterness I have held in my heart in some cases from childhood that I have had to work through in Christ. I have found in Him that the healing of being forgiven is just as potent as forgiving!
According to Webster´s Dictionary, besides primarily meaning "a sharp, unpleasant taste" or "causing or manifesting sharp physical or mental pain or discomfort," bitterness involves the exhibition of "strong animosity." It is also "marked by rancor or disappointment." It is the strong animosity and rancor (long lasting resentment) that seems to be expressing itself in the tragic escalation of domestic and other kinds of violence we see being played out on the TV news each night. Too, I have met so many especially single women in the churches that are very bitter over past relational hurts.
But men carry our share of bitterness as well. For example, though the many black males over 40 years old in particular will not admit it, slavery and their experiences of racism did not do as much damage psychologically and emotionally as did their interpretation of them from the viewpoint of a victim. This very hour there will be even many professed Christian black males that die in bitterness as victims. This means they will die with unforgiveness in their hearts!
My own struggle with bitterness centered around slights (real and imagined), hurtful words and acts including betrayals and physical injury. I thoroughly understand the sense of entitlement to be bitter that the mind presents and the revenge of which the soul says amen. I carried the painful wounds of betrayal in the hostile take over of the band I started as a teenager well into my early middle age. As wiser minds than my own have surmised, you can only be deeply hurt by people that you deeply love. I loved every single person that made up the Sounds of Persuasion. My hurt, my anger was justified I believed, so it was easy to hang on to the bitterness.
To be sure, in my life journey I have said and done some hurtful things I regret that folk have chosen to become bitter and even downright hateful with me about. I know the pain of an apology refused; of communication severed and relationship lost because of the strong animosity and rancor of bitterness. Then there are those that lie and say, "I forgive you," but they do not really mean it. Their bitter feelings are expressed in razor sharp words, ugly attitudes and deeds. Such a person is still after vengeance, not offering actual forgiveness.
How glad I am God does not forgive like fallen, sinful humanity! Truly, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is about sin atoned for and forgiveness freely given to all that believe upon Him. Christ was crucified enduring God´s just wrath against our sins; sins that deeply offend and wound Him as our Creator. When He cried out, "It is finished," (John 19:30, NKJV), the heavy curtain in the temple that set apart the holiest chamber where once sat the ark of God´s presence was torn in two from top to bottom (Mark 15:38). This was God the Father in joy symbolically showing the way was now open for all willing men to draw near to Him in peace through the shed blood of Jesus.
God is truly finished with His wrath toward those who follow Christ by faith. In His forgiveness, He has removed our sins from us, "as far as the east is from the west," (Psalm 103:12, NKJV). He has justified us, that is, declared us not guilty, acquitted and pardoned forever! His forgiveness extends to every vile and wicked deed we had ever done before believing on Christ and covers every sin we commit afterward as long as we confess and repent from them (1 John 1:9). He does not bear bitter grudges nor does He reject the genuinely repentant (Psalm 51:17; Isaiah 57:15-16, 66:2).
It was the joyful experience of real forgiveness for my own sins that finally enabled the Lord to open my eyes to the best possible motives I could have for forgiving others: love and grace. Love and grace put Jesus on the cross to make possible my forgiveness. While I was still His enemy and before I ever knew Him, He died for my sins to obtain my forgiveness and reconcile me back to God (Romans 5:6-11). But if I would yet be stubborn and resist forgiving others as God in Christ so freely forgave me, then the Lord reminded me henceforth I would be denied forgiveness (Mark 11: 25-26). Those words were all that I needed.
I started forgiving and seeking forgiveness from everybody I could think of. Even in the hardest of instances, the Holy Spirit supplied His love and supernatural power that enabled me to forgive folk I may never see again in this life just as He forgave His enemies from the cross (Luke 23:34). Oh, that I could embrace all of my still living former band mates! I am now forgiving every wrong done to me in real time so that bitterness will not even have a chance to set up shop in my heart ever again in accord with God´s will (Ephesians 4:31-32).
And what of those professed Christians that die with unforgiveness in their hearts? While your personal brand of Christianity may place such persons in Heaven, Jesus, Lord of biblical Christianity has said we are to forgive so we will be forgiven. You judge; is He serious or not? Eternity is a long time to be wrong.
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